Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Releasing guilty and fear/A real case study


I have got very normal life bt very abnormal surrounding around me.
From my childhood I have seen my family people always fighting with each other. They love their children a lot for sure bt they care about their fightings the most. In my teenage I got involved into homosexual activity with one of my classmate.
After my 12th I shifted to Haldwani for my coaching of CA. After clearing it's entrance , I continued my coaching there only. Then someone came in my life one of my room mate in Haldwani came close to my heart. He used to care about me a lot, used to do everthng for me . After some tym he started liking me nd we both had little body ply. He wanted to go for anal but I refused. After sometym things got changed between us. He started ignoring me , used to fight wth me , sometimes he use to be normal. The. I shifted to Delhi . He just hates me now  and  I am trying to forget him from last one year bt I can't. Whenever I try to go in a relationship with either any boy or girl. His face use to appear in front of me.
I just want to move on . I want to concentrate on my career but I can't.
Kindly advice me what to do??
I will be very grateful to u.

Response and guidance provided:

Dear Beloved,
Thank you for writing to me. I can understand that you feel guilty for him whenever you wish to start a new relationship in your life. Since you were very close to him and shared lot of time with him you have been emotionally attached. This attachment has created a feeling of guilty of not being able to satisfy him or not being faithful to him. It may also be possible since you have seen lot of troublesome atmosphere at home, the blame feeling is prominent in your subconscious mind since childhood.
Now let me tell you something that connects with reality. Everyone is responsible for his own self. If you do not like to anal sex that is absolutely fine, he must respect your freewill and you have no compulsion to indulge in anal sex in order to make him happy. Relationship can only exist if both the partners accept each other and respect each others' free will. There is nothing that you have done wrong to him. You must not think that you are to be blamed if things do not go right any time, anywhere. You must release any guilt or blame for yourself.
You just have to release the guilt emotion from your subconscious mind. You can try this exercise. Close your eyes for 5 minutes, see his face in front of you and observe what emotions come to you, do not resist, just feel those emotions. You might feel bad and restless but do not worry they have come to the surface to get released. Now open your eyes go in front of the mirror and say the following statement looking into your eyes in the mirror. (say loudly). You can say them hindi or any of your mother tongue in which you understand yourself the most. (language which you have been speaking since your childhood)
1. I am responsible for myself only. Everyone is responsible for himself.
2. I truly forgive myself for blaming myself for his problem. I deeply and completely accept and love myself.
3. I am free to choose my own life.
4. I am accepted and loved for who I am.
5. I do not judge myself with whatever happened in the past.
6. I know how it feels like to live for myself without feeling guilty.
7. I know how it feels like to live in my daily life without being blamed.
You are free, trust that everything in your life is being taken care of. I wish you a great journey ahead. Please feel free to share your experience after doing this exercise.

Warm Regards,
Rahul Anand
Psychotherapist and counselor 

Monday, 15 June 2015

You have the power to choose your life

 We are each responsible for our experiences. Every thought we think is creating our future. Everyone is dealing with the damaging patterns of resentment, criticism, guilt, and self hatred. These are only the thoughts and thoughts can be changed. We need to release the past and forgive everyone including ourselves. Self approval and self acceptance in  the now are the keys to positive changes. The point of power is always in the present moment. The aforementioned power words are extracts of Louise Hay which has changed many people's lives including mine. 

Letting Go

Take a deep breath and as you exhale you allow the tension to leave your body. Visualize this breathing flowing freely into your body relaxing your forehead, tongue, throat, shoulders, arms, hands, your abdomen, pelvis, legs and your feet. In this relaxed, comfortable position, say to yourself, "I am willing to let go. I release. I let go. I release all stress. I release all fears.  I release all anger. I release all guilt. I release all sadness. I let go of old limitations. I let go and I am at peace. I am at peace with myself. I am at peace with process of life. I am safe."

Repeat this exercise whenever thoughts of difficulty come up. It takes little practice for the routine to become a part of you. Once you are familiar with it, you can do it anywhere at anytime. You be able to relax completely in any situation. 

I move beyond my fears

Universal consciousness is changing as more people are becoming aware of what is going on inside them. I am hereby writing most common fears "If you believe" in part 1 and adjacent to them is "then you must affirm" in part2. You can also write down your greatest fears and create corresponding positive statements. The law of repetition will help you to create your reality by saying your own affirmations. 

1. I am afraid that no one will ever see my value. 
1. Everyone values my work and appreciates it. 

2. I will never have a place of my own. 
2. There is a perfect home for me and I accept it now. 

3. My parents won't accept me the way I am. 
3. I accept my parents and their limitations and they in turn accept me and love me.  

4. I am afraid of being poor. 
4. I completely trust that all my needs will be taken care of.  

5. I think that I am fat/thin and unattractive. 
5. I release the need to criticize my body. 

6. I am afraid before having sex that I will have to "perform". 
6. I am relaxed and I flow with life easily and effortlessly. 

7. I am afraid of bring sick and unable to take care of myself. 
7. I will always attract all the help I need. 

8. I don't think that anyone will ever love me. 
8. Love and acceptance are mine. I love myself. 

9. I am afraid of getting old. 
9. Every age has its infinite possibilities. I am always accepted and loved for who I am. I am always in demand. 

10. What if I die too early. 
10. I trust the process of life. I am accomplishing everything in time that I have come for.

Suggested Readings by Louise Hay:

1. Love Yourself Heal Your Life Workbook

2. The Power Is Within You

3.All is Well: Heal Your Body with Medicine, Affirmation and Intuition


Tuesday, 9 June 2015

A Better change

Sometimes we do not know why we are not able to achieve a better health, peaceful mind, a loving relationship, trustworthy friends, helpful colleagues and satisfaction. The following are the affirmations that Louise Hay has given to create a better life. The first part is "If you believe" and the second part just beneath it is "then you must affirm". I express my deep gratitude and love to her for sharing this treasure with us.

1. I can't stop buying things. 
1. I am willing to create new thoughts about myself and my life. 

2. I need my drugs/tranquilizers/sleeping pills/poppers. 
2. I relax into the flow of life and let life provide all that I need easily and comfortably. 

3. Drinking makes me popular and gives me acceptance in society. 
3. I radiate acceptance and I am deeply loved by others. 

4. Having lots of sex helps me to escape. 
4. I have the power, strength, and knowledge to handle everything in my life. 

5. I can't stop eating. 
5.  Love surrounds me and protects me and nourishes me. 

6. Smoking cigarettes reduces my stress. 
6. I release my stress with ease.  

7. I can't get away from abusive relationships. 
7. I am powerful and capable. I love and appreciate all of myself.  

8. I want to feel better now
8. I am at peace.