Sunday, 27 September 2015

My sexual impulse- right or wrong?

Relationship cannot just be based on sex. But fulfilling sexual needs are also equally important. Most of the gays/bisexual guys broke off with their partners and even friends because they feel hurt because of being judged for their sexual impulses. I would like to share with you all a real life situation, sent to me by my friend “Nishant”. He is the “I ”in this story .

For instance if I meet a friend’s friend in gay party who is quite a hot guy. I like him and I feel like taking him on bed. I initiate and send a message through my friend to him that if he would like to share bed with me. He declines and continues to enjoy the party with other friends. I find myself in a awkward situation, still I try my best not to show my friends that I feel embarrassed. Later at night I realize that it’s quite late and I could not go home, I will have to stay back at my friend’s place. While getting on friend’s car I realize that about 6-7 guys are staying at same friend’s flat and one of them is the same guy whom I felt to have sex with. Anyways I was not at all interested to take a chance because I had already felt insulted once. We reach the flat and everyone sleeps in 3 different rooms. It was about 4am  when I woke up for toilet and while going to the bathroom through the passage, I get to see that same guy is having sex with a tiny ugly looking guy who does not even worth shaking hands with. My face gets red hot angry and I start feel rejected. Many thoughts starts coming to my mind. That sexy guy is just a chutiya guy, I judge him that he must be not worthy enough to fall for, he must not be good in nature, not worthy for being a friend. I strictly create strong hatred against him and decide never to see him or meet him again. Now my question to all of you, Is this judgmental behavior right?? Do think this emotion will help me to create trust worthy and happy friendship in gay community? What if I feel bad about myself based on other’s approval?? Do I give freedom to others to choose what sort of partner do they prefer for sex or Do I immediately declare them wrong? Am I jealous of my not so good looking friend if he gets a good date? This behavior creates our future, Therefore I request all of you to share your honest opinion, what  you would have done if you would encountered the same situation??

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